Dylan’s First Movie

Dylan’s first movie was Se7en. Too soon? We’ll see. If he becomes a serial killer, we can point to this moment as a motivator. If he becomes Brad Pitt, my bad. If he becomes Morgan Freeman, you’re welcome.

We watched it at 5 a.m. on Halloween morning.

After this rewatching, Se7en is officially on my Top 20 movies of all time.

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Don’t Brag About the Baby

I spent the first four days ecstatically bragging about every single thing I could.

“The doctor said this is the easiest delivery she’s ever done!”

“Her milk is already coming in!”

“I slept eight and a half hours the first night in the hospital!”

“He’s only fussy when we’re changing his diaper or he’s hungry!”

“The pediatrician says she’s never seen a baby gain weight back so quickly!”

“He’s insanely strong and already moving onto his side with his shoulders!”

“No, you don’t understand …”

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The Delivery of Baby Boy Bayer

Her water broke at home, even though she recently told me that only happens in the movies. It was Friday night and I missed a call. Luckily, it only took me one minute to realize this and give Lisa a call back. I wasn’t truly focused on the time when I was dialing. I was still thinking about the poker game I was in with a group of friends. Thankfully, I only had 2.2 beers. Assuming Lisa was calling to say “goodnight” was incorrect.

“Jeff, I think my water just broke.” Later, at the hospital, I learned she released a stream of f-bombs when she woke up with a good bit of confidence that she didn’t she wet the bed. I assumed Lisa was wrong. Yes, it’s odd to doubt a doctor about such a matter, but I was pretty convinced we would make it to the full 40 weeks, you know, “because.” Continue reading