Don’t Brag About the Baby

I spent the first four days ecstatically bragging about every single thing I could.

“The doctor said this is the easiest delivery she’s ever done!”

“Her milk is already coming in!”

“I slept eight and a half hours the first night in the hospital!”

“He’s only fussy when we’re changing his diaper or he’s hungry!”

“The pediatrician says she’s never seen a baby gain weight back so quickly!”

“He’s insanely strong and already moving onto his side with his shoulders!”

“No, you don’t understand …”

Yup, that was me. See all of those exclamation points? Ugh. Now, I will say, all of those statements involving doctors were completely true. I double checked, made them over-explain. After all, I have no clue about a baby’s weight gain path, strength or much less anything else.

Here’s what finally dawned on me … other parents aren’t going to be happy for you. They’ll consider you naive at best, otherwise they’ll simply be annoyed. If you have a “perfect” infant, keep it to yourself and realize how lucky you are. Yes, I believe it’s a little bit more than luck, mainly because of my wife. We waited until we were ready, she took perfect care of herself just before and during the pregnancy, and she has good genes. The rest is luck.

Plus, you aren’t really a parent until you realize how difficult it is to be a parent. So currently, I don’t feel like it has started. If you are a father who took a couple of days off, went right back to work, and isn’t involved much in the daily process, you don’t actually know what it is like to raise an infant. I will, since I don’t think I do yet.

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