The Taming of the Diaper Rash

Because of life and slight miscommunication, we didn’t change Dylan’s diaper for a six-hour stretch. Payback has reared its red, chapped, almost cut open backside. That’s right, Dylan has his first diaper rash.

Sure, he is probably uncomfortable because of this, I don’t blame him. But he is currently getting the royal treatment. Now, until it heals this is our process:

1. Get two people.

2. Remove diaper.

3. One person holds Dylan up.

4. The other person takes the kitchen sink nozzle and sprays everything off of him.

5. We dab him with a towel.

6. We blow dry his ass (on “cool”).

7. We put on the industrial strength Butt Creme.

8. We repeat the entire process because just before we put on the new diaper, he pees on his face.

I hope no cupcakes drop into the kitchen sink. It’s officially a biohazard area.

The one joy from all of this? When my wife was blow drying his bottom she said, “I love the way his scrotum sack blows in the breeze.” It’s the little moments.


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