He’s Average

You hear it happening to other parents, you just never expect it will happen to you. He’s average. My boy is average. He’s in the 25th percentile for weight, and the 70th percentile for height. No records are being broken. Yes, we just had our two-month check up (9.5 weeks technically because we saw our pediatrician so much because of the diaper rash).

A basic predictor on my son’s height would be:

my height (6’6″) + Lisa’s height (5’9″) + 5 inches / 2 = Dylan (6’4″)

Obviously this it’s a final answer. If that was the case, I’d be shorter.


Me (Jeff Bayer)

My first thought with his percentiles is that we need to beef this kid up. He’s lean. Dylan’s not super skinny, and sure he still has a knee dimple, but nobody is calling him plump. Our doctor appropriately thinks he DOES NOT need to beef up. She says he is using all of the breast milk to increase his height, which is great.

Height. I’ve thought about it a lot. I am tall. Sometimes I forget and think that I blend in, but for the most part there is no denying it. I’ve called myself “The Tallest Film Critic in America,” and I’ve only been proven wrong once.

So, do I want my son to be tall (if I could magically decide such things)? No. Not really. I think the perfect height that I would grant my son is 6’3″. 6’3″ guys get to reep the benefits of being tall, without the halses of being tall. They can reach things, look down on people, see better at concerts, and supposedly tall men earn more money, though I’m still waiting on that one. When you are taller than 6’3″ you have to bother with leg room in cars and planes, knee problems (though that was mainly due to a case of “chicken legs” that I never cured with “proper exercise”), shopping online only for clothes and shoes, people asking you how tall you are and then having them say things like “No, you’re taller than that,” or guys at the gym explaining how good they would be at basketball if they were only tall like that.

Baby Dylan

Baby Dylan

Here’s the kicker, if my son wants certain athletics (basketball or volleyball as two obvious choices) than being taller is an advantage. Right now my nephew is in 8th grade, wants to play college basketball, is coordinated, and scheduled to be around 6’9″. If he works hard, and continues to want this, then some sort of scholarship at some sort of school with probably happen.

My final answer is 6’3″ … unless.


2 thoughts on “He’s Average

  1. Initially I was scared to death of those height/weight percentile numbers they love to throw at you during your kids doctor visits. Of course, I didn’t walk into the doctors office being scared, mind you – it was when I found out my daughter was at 92-93% for height and below 50% for weight at 3 months, 6 months, and 9 months that I got a little freaked out.

    I’m 6’0″ and her mother is 5’9″ – how did we end up with an amazon baby?

    Don’t answer that.

    • My nephew and niece are giants and are now in 8th and 6th grade. I’ve been hearing (my sister isn’t bragging) that they’ve been “off the charts” their entire lives. “Off the charts” sounds better than “average.” I’ll get over it.

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