The Cost of Trying to get Dylan to Laugh

As you know, I want Dylan to laugh. He’s doing it a little bit more, and I love every second of it used to love every second of it. Let me set the stage.

Just before bath time, I tickled Dylan under the armpits. He exploded with giggles. I did it again. Same result. This continued for a half minute and then I called Lisa. She came, watched our son laugh, and after another 30 seconds, she grabbed her iPhone.

In the video, his laughs turn to cackles. I tell you this mainly because when he’s laughing, he sounds better than what the video shows. If his laugh always sounded like this, I wouldn’t be desperate for it.

Lisa starts off by explaining that his penis is definitely not in the shot. Not true. You can’t see it because I just learned how to crop video clips in iMovie. But beware, if Lisa ever says a penis isn’t being filmed, it probably is.

At the :15 second mark it happens. You can tell because you’ll see a few drops appear on Dylan, Lisa laughing, and a wet spot appear on my jeans. After that, it’s a flood. This is only the second time I’ve been hit. The other time was Christmas day. Lisa’s been hit over a dozen times with less opportunity. I’ve been the king of not being on the receiving end of Dylan’s showers, but clearly he likes to hit me in big moments (Christmas, on camera).

Dylan Does Cry

I might have given you the impression that Dylan never cries. That’s not the case. He does. This is what it sounds like. To get the full affect, turn your speakers up to 11, and repeat 120 times. This was the middle of a 40-minute session. It’s only 23 seconds long, and my favorite/worst noise is actually cut off at the very end.

I wonder if he did cry more often I would get used to this noise. Perhaps it would desensitize me. As it stands, these moments feel like hell. If you have a teenager, or anyone in their 20s who is thinking of becoming a parent, I submit this video as birth control. Enjoy?

Dylan’s First Time in a Jumperoo

I want you to keep in mind that I am desperate for my son to laugh at me. It’s my main motivation … besides him feeling secure, loved, and all that crap. I want him to laugh at the faces and noises I happily make for him. Unfortunately, 99 percent of the time, he just smiles at those things. It’s a great smile, but it’s not a giggle, nor is it a laugh.

I recorded the first eight minutes of Dylan in a Jumperoo. I have no problem with the eye sore that is the Jumperoo. Our’s is a Fisher Price Rain Forest Jumperoo. This is the “highlight reel” of those eight minutes. It’s just under three minutes long. As you’ll see, I clearly had never put an infant in a Jumperoo before.

It’s been one week since I recorded that video, and Dylan hasn’t laughed at the blue frog since. I’m still making faces, and am happy to report he’s now laughing two percent of the time, instead of just one.

The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Done (with Dylan)

Last Friday night, my wife had a work thing that would run pretty late. That meant there were many guys who had nothing to do. Since we don’t have a babysitter yet, I was stuck at my house. I decided the best thing to do was to have poker night at my house. After all, if it was at someone else’s house, I wouldn’t have been able to join. Or, I would have brought Dylan, brought Dylan’s things, hoped Dylan slept in a strange environment, yada, yada.

I put the sign outside, “Don’t ring doorbell, come in.” I worked on getting Dylan asleep. A bath, a few bottles, pacing around the room, and plenty of white noise added up to putting him down at 7:30 p.m. I came down stairs surprised to see eight people already in my house. Eventually it was 14 guys (two poker tables), and four of them were definitely “frat guy” loud. Booming laughs, poker and beer. So loud. Only one other guy was a father. Two different times he really wanted me to check on Dylan. I did. He kept sleeping. He slept past the 1:30 a.m. time when everyone left, and kept sleeping until 7 a.m. It was only the second time he’s gone past 11 hours of sleep.

So while the poker decision was definitely the dumbest thing I’ve attempted to do, Dylan rewarded my stupidity. Now I’ll have to make a habit out of it. It’s the only logical outcome to make.